Goals/Life update?

I think one of my biggest fears in the past year has be the dreaded question, 

"So, what do you do?"

That shouldn't be such a hard question to answer but I get so freaked out trying to come up with a reply. 

Regardless I always end up saying the same thing,

"Oh, I just try and keep busy around the house and am looking into classes and jobs.."

And it's true...most days... 

When I moved here I had no idea what I wanted to do. 

I had nothing lined up.

No particular goal.

Nothing.

I literally gave up everything to move here.

I know so many people must think I am a silly young girl and I don't know what I am doing and that you should never give up your life for a man blah blah blah.

And in some cases that may be true.. but I don't see it that way.

Sure I have given up a lot but it wasn't for "a man".

I moved to be with my best friend. I moved to have a new beginning. I moved to experience the world. I moved to find my passion. I moved for love. I moved for me.

And sometimes I have to remind myself of that because this has been one hell of a hard year.

I forget some days why I left everything I knew. I get lost and scared once in a while because the only person I know is gone 80% of the time for work. Some days I find myself so reliant on other people that I forget that is not how you're supposed to live. 

The first few months were the hardest because, of course, it is a culture shock.

And reality became far more than I could have ever imagined.

It's HARD! Life is HARD! 

I probably cried more than any person should the first few months.

Also the place we were living was so temporary that it made it hard to feel attached and willing to do anything real with my time. I didn't know what to do. Where to go. If it was worth getting a job just to quit soon after. 

So I didn't do much. I guess you could say I was in a rut.

But I was and always am looking for things to have as a goal. 

Now we are living in our current place, which is a bit more permanent (for 2 years) I finally feel like I am able to do more. It took me a while but I have finally figured out what I want to do and now I have a few things lined up. And this is just some of the things I want to do. There is still so much more to look forward to.

I'm trying this new thing... yeah...its called having a 'positive outlook' and the way I see it is how all things in life are possible and the choices are limitless and there are a million things I might do with my life.

And I know with anything that I decide to do I have the most wonderful partner for life supporting me just as I support him.

So, as hard as this life change has been (and still is) I wouldn't change these moments for anything in the world. The hardships in life are what give you knowledge and courage and determination.

And I don't ever want to forget that.

So thank you for reading my rambling thoughts!

 And special thank you to my hard working and patient husband who has been putting up with me and my crazy emotional self, trying to figure out life for the past year.

I love you.

xx